Love & Affection

When Gunnar Nelson recently started appearing on VH1's Celebrity Fit Club 3 , the memories he brought back sent me running out to the garage in search of a 16-year-old cassette. Way in the back of the storage area, behind the freezer, the workbench, the shelves, and the plastic totes full of old clothes and toys was a cardboard box crammed with old cassette tapes, some belonging to my husband and some belonging to me.

We never listen to tapes anymore, preferring the clearer sound of CDs. It was no surprise the box was buried further back than the rest of the junk. Digging through the old cases, pulling some out for later use, I finally found was I was looking for.

It was "After The Rain" by Nelson, the 1990 album containing the song allegedly written for Cindy Crawford: "Love And Affection."

Sure, you can go ahead and tease me. I can take it. I turned 24 the summer of 1990. "Love And Affection" was a radio and MTV hit late in the season. I remember it distinctly, because in August I moved into a new basement apartment, and the day I moved in I taped MTV's Top 10 countdown just so I could have Nelson on video. I was romantic in the way very young women often are; I had daydreams that someday a man would have for me the feelings described in the song and a dozen other love songs like it. In my wildest dreams, it would be Matthew Nelson himself. Both twins were attractive, of course, but Matthew was the one for me . I loved his long blonde hair. I probably could have wasted an entire afternoon watching Nelson videos.

This morning, after I'd dropped my kids at school, I slid the cassette into the player in my minivan, thinking what a long way I was from the young woman who'd purchased the tape all those summers ago.

As soon as I heard the first note, the intervening time disappeared, and for a three and a half minutes, it was a 90-degree day in the basement apartment of a house in Burnsville, Minnesota, sixteen years ago.

Later this afternoon, with all three kids in the car and on my way to drop my 18-year-old off at work, I popped the song in again. The effect wasn't quite the same as when I'd been listening by myself. I found myself babbling to my oldest about the song, the video, my crush on Matthew.

"You were three then," I said. "We rented a basement apartment from a co-worker who also had a three-year-old.

I chattered on, exclaiming how cute the Nelson twins had been, and could it really be that long ago, and aren't they just the perfect combination of their gorgeous parents?

"Who are their parents?" my daughter asked, clueless.

"Their father was Rick Nelson. Ricky Nelson."

"Who's that?"

I hesitated, feeling a small, sad smile cross my face.

"Never mind," I said. "We're here and you're almost late." She grabbed her bags, flew out of the car, and told me her boyfriend was picking her up later so she didn't need a ride from me. She disappeared inside the building, still unaware of just who Rick Nelson was.

In a few minutes, I'll go into the kitchen and start spaghetti sauce for supper and a chocolate cake for dessert. I'll set out my husband's Valentine gifts and prepare to surprise him. And I'll remember how glad I am that he is the one who captured my heart.

For now, though, I'm going to put that tape in one more time and spend three and a half minutes being 24 and daydreaming about a long-haired blonde pop star.

Happy Valentine's Day!